I attended a car show in Port Coquitlam this past weekend. It involved getting up at the crack of dawn and waiting in a long line to park my car in the hot sun so others could admire it for the day. 

While there, I saw a slogan on a T-shirt that really tickled me. More on this later. I love people watching. That is, watching the people who are watching the cars and their owners. If you love cars, and you own a unique vehicle, you’ve probably said to an interested onlooker something like, “Oh yeah, this one is the 483rd unit built in red on that day in 1965.” Or, “My car is unique. It has the square ashtray, not the round one, which was used in all subsequent models.” Or, “This is the VERY LAST one in a run of 72,000 cars imported into Canada.” You get the idea.  

It wouldn’t do to act bored when a proud owner makes some such pronouncement to you. It would be rude, just as it would be to make a negative remark. You’d be dissing yourself as well as the other person whose car has unique features. We should never take pleasure in throwing shade on someone else’s joy, tempting though it may be. 

You’re probably wondering how this relates to the T-shirt slogan that tickled my fancy, which was, “Before we perfect artificial intelligence, can we do something about human stupidity?”  I burst out laughing when I read it.  

Human stupidity—or even human failings, if you want to be a bit more forgiving—is a very big topic. with as many examples as there have been human beings through history. I include myself. Honestly, sometimes I replay in my mind, with much discomfort, some of the stupid things I’ve done and said. I find it harder to not say stupid or perhaps, more accurately, “unfashionable” things as times go by. I’m confident there’s a hangman’s noose waiting for me in my future.

I read a news article awhile back written in support of the right-to-be-forgotten laws that some European Union jurisdictions are considering. Meaning, we should have the right to ask Google (who never forgets) to expunge stories and posts about us after a period of time. Jeesh, what will the trolls do if this becomes possible?  

Anything we’ve ever said and done can now come back to haunt us. I think this is a first in human history. Prior to the Internet, if we made a mistake, it was dealt with, and then everyone forgot about it, allowing the passage of time to blunt the sharp edges, with the perpetrator being given a second chance.  

If you believe no one ever has a right of redemption, I hope your record has been spotless. Glass houses and all that. 

Which brings me to how we look at our colleagues.  

My usual go-to reaction when I hear about something bad happening is to look for the perpetrator while readying the noose. This is consistent with my great affection for revenge movies. But I wish, instead, my go-to feeling was, “That sounds bad. I wonder what happened? Were they having a bad day?”

Honestly, in my work as your Ethics Guy® I don’t often see a complaint where a member has intentionally set out to do something wrong. Yes, it happens. But not as often as my favourite shoot-first, ask-questions-later crowd thinks. I wish we would be a little more charitable in our judgments of others. Surely they’re entitled to a second chance at some point? Or are they to be damned in flames forever? 

I suggest we try to adopt this attitude because we are never going to achieve perfection. As REALTORS® the stakes are high, and there’s so much emotion and uncertainty. I think our generosity in judging others has an effect on how we see ourselves collectively. It’s like the two schools of thought: “We need more laws because people are bad,” versus, “People are essentially good, but they make mistakes. So, let’s lighten up.” Which would you rather follow? I am pretty sure one is happier than the other. 

The next time you hear about something stupid a colleague has done, reflect on it with as much generosity as you can muster. Then, bring it to our attention if there’s been a breach of professional standards. The Professional Conduct Committee will do the rest.  

At the same time, don’t let it forever colour your feelings about the other member. This can be difficult, I know. Personally, I’m dragging around about 40 years’ worth of judgmental member baggage. It’s all so negative. Sure, something wrong was done. But that other member breathes in and out the same as I do. They have another life I don’t know about. They have dreams. They have people they love. They make jokes. Maybe they’ve let other drivers budge into a long line a few times, and they’ve probably listened politely as someone has droned on about something they’re not interested in—like the details of the other person’s vintage car.

Our life’s panorama is adorned with the good and the bad. Being generous to others in our opinions is a better epitaph than, “They did something wrong; they should never have done. They’re forever burned in my book. They don’t ever deserve a second chance.” 

A member pointed out to me that my use of “water connection date” in my last column is out of date. The current term used by BC Assessment and other municipal authorities is more likely to be “year built,” which seems to me to be better and much more accurate. Many thanks to the member for letting me know.