Going out the door this morning, my better half reminded me to “put the shepherd’s pie in the oven at 350 at 5:30.” After she left, I thought, “Or, was that 530 at 3:50?” I mean, there’s an obvious difference between 350 degrees and 530 degrees, not to mention the length of time in the oven.  

Having forgotten about Valentine’s Day on this very morning, I didn’t want to push it by asking too many questions. I doubt anyone would need a doctorate in thermodynamics to understand that a shepherd’s pie cooked at 350 degrees is going to be a lot more edible than the wizened lump of food we’d get if it were cooked for an hour at 530 degrees. Disaster averted, I followed the instructions and enjoyed another evening of marital bliss. 

In my last article, I discussed how we can read words on a page without really taking them in—as can our clients. This time, I want to touch on how important it is to really listen to what people say to us, especially our clients.  

It seems obvious: Listen to what people say. But do we really do that?  

Most of us have acquired enough social skills to feign that we’re listening, when we’re really only taking in about every third word. We don’t even realize we’re doing it, perhaps, because we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next. Doing that diverts our concentration from really listening to others. Or sometimes, we’re thinking about something else entirely—which may be somewhat excusable in a social setting, but it’s definitely not in a business setting.

Pretty obvious stuff, you’ll be thinking. Indeed, but worth a reminder. Have a think about your listening skills. How easily does your attention wander? Give yourself a tune-up and think about all the sales skills seminars you’ve been to. Almost all those I’ve gone to over the years focus on the skill of listening more than talking, which can be a problem, I think, because most of us like to talk a lot. If we didn’t, we’d be undertakers. Or monks. But we’re REALTORS®, excelling at keeping about three dozen balls in the air at the same time, sometimes to the detriment of our listening skills and, perhaps, our family relationships. 

I’m not a listening guru, believe me. Half the time I can’t hear what people are saying to me anyway, especially in a noisy room or restaurant. Put me at the Medallion Dinner and I’ll catch one word in five. I’ve learned to compensate by nodding periodically, sometimes interjecting with, “And what did you do then?” That sort of thing. Maybe one can get away with that for a while in a social setting surrounded by friends who understand, but in a business setting? Not so much. 

A frustrated member writes:

Indeed, I wrote about this in my column last May, “You Can't have it Both Ways.” Simply put, and to summarize the article, an offer presentation is either being delayed or it isn’t. Members and their clients must be able to rely on a standard set of rules (and forms) so that everyone knows where they stand. We can’t expect our public approval ratings to go up if, after making a clear statement to all and sundry, a seller and agent pull the rug out from under buyers’ feet by deciding to look at an early offer, unless the DRPO protocol as described in Rule 4.02 is followed to the letter. The MLS® department rejects DRPO instructions (and therefore, the listing) if the DRPO contains a clause similar to the one above. If you see a listing with a concerning DRPO instruction, please let the MLS® department know about it.