You probably won’t be surprised to read that I admire the prose of columnist Rex Murphy. I wish I could write as he does. In a recent column, a favourite of mine, he wrote about discourse and courtesy.

“Forget the imperatives of law; the majestic custom of courtesy, of honourable and respectable human interaction, which is what courtesy is…,” Murphy says.

I agree. Courtesy has never been more vital to smooth human interactions than it is now.

Murphy goes on to say, “It [courtesy] is more important than law—it is how good people have exchanges with people with whom they disagree while maintaining civility. Law has nothing to do with it. Decency of exchange is deeper than any law.”

What do you think of this? I agree with Murphy, and I hope you do, too. I’d add courtesy has never been more vital to smooth human interactions than now, in these seemingly polarized times. These words are mine, but the sentiment is Rex Murphy’s.

We’re in the problem-solving business. The way we deal with problems is to communicate with each other. Why? Because problems don’t often solve themselves without help, and that help has to come from us. 

Our communication with each other happens in a host of ways, but boiled down, what we do is bring buyers and sellers together by salving their fears and smoothing out the bumps in the road on the way to a deal.

Effective communicators have a civil, non-confrontational style—a style that oils the wheels of commerce. It gets them further than those who just can’t resist saying whatever pops into their head. I doubt this is a surprise to anyone. But human emotion and the stress of our business being what it is, a lack of civility isn’t unusual. If we look in the mirror, can we honestly say we’ve never contributed to that lack?

In my last column, I wrote about forgiveness. Let’s build on that by thinking about civility and being kind to others. This affords others the respect they crave.

Think about the deals you’ve done with other members. Some came together beautifully. Why?

I’ll bet mutual respect, civility, and good communication played a big role in the outcome.

Now think about the last train wreck of a deal in which you were involved. Dissect it. Do an autopsy of who said what to whom. What went wrong?

My guess is a lack of civility, unregulated emotion, and other human failings played a central role. At some point, someone couldn’t resist the need to be right or the desire to dominate. Likely things would have gone better if instead the prevailing emotion was the need to be less rigid that comes with walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.

At the start of what I hope for you will be a very busy autumn, think about how you can work at being more congenial, civil, and kind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your efforts came back at you tenfold in a multitude of nice, easy deals done?

What does your signage say about you? Or your brokerage and your profession, for that matter. What does all your advertising say about you, your brokerage and your profession?

When it comes to approval ratings, REALTORS® are at about 50 per cent, at least according to BCFSA's ethics course. Wanting to drag ourselves up in the hierarchy of Canadian occupations, our low rating continues to be a source of frustration, tinged with anger, by members. How do we improve matters and get our numbers up?

One simple way would be to ensure that the signs we put in front of our sellers’ homes (and that they’ll see for weeks), are professional-looking and clean. For sale signs with paint that’s been pulled off by old sold stickers, or that don’t match brokerage colours, or are damaged—what do they say about our business style, attention to detail, and, perhaps, our respect for clients and others? You decide.

If I were king for a day, I’d issue an edict that every new listing must have a brand-new sign. The inspiration for that edict, by the way, came to me by way of Marjorie Mitchell, one of the first competing Realtors whose listings I showed long ago. She always used to say, “A new sign for every new listing.” Her words have stuck with me ever since.